How to Friend | Doug Wekenman | Sermon Notes — Hello Pastor

Sermon Notes

How to Friend

Red Rocks Church • Jun 7, 2026 • 47 min

Start a Devotional

Take this message with you through a journey of Scripture, reflection, and prayer.

Summary

In "How to Friend," Pastor Doug Wekenman examines the vital role of community in the Christian life, reminding us that we were designed in the image of a relational, triune God and built for deep fellowship. Rather than complaining about our friend pool or searching for better connections, believers are challenged to look in the mirror and evaluate what kind of friend they are being. By prioritizing deep relationships over convenience, giving generous encouragement, and sticking together through life's messiness, we reflect Christ's love and help each other endure in faith.

Themes

Christian Community & Biblical FriendshipRelational Generosity vs. IsolationAccountability and Spiritual EnduranceSacrificial Love and ForgivenessThe Relational Nature of God

Pastor's Points

1.

1. Do I really want ride or die?

2.

2. Are my friends really my priority?

3.

3. Am I the kind of friend I'm looking for?

Key Points

1.
1. Do I really want ride or die?
2.
2. Are my friends really my priority?
3.
3. Am I the kind of friend I'm looking for?
4.
True "ride or die" friendship requires a willingness to step into messiness, navigate conflict, offer accountability, and selflessly sacrifice for one another as Jesus modeled.
5.
Being a spiritual spur to others requires thick skin and a soft heart, gently pushing each other toward love, good deeds, and endurance in our race of faith.
6.
Priorities are only real when we actively prioritize them; true friendship means choosing people and purpose over paychecks, positions, or geographical convenience.
7.
Active participation in local Christian community must be intentionally maintained despite digital technology, busyness, and cultural isolation.
8.
Becoming a great friend involves practicing relational generosity—such as encouragement and quick forgiveness—rather than drawing small, self-protective circles.

Sermon Moments

“Friendship is the ultimate biohack because so many issues—stress, anxiety, loneliness, burnout—improve when you have meaningful relationships.”

“We grade ourselves on our intentions, but when it comes to everybody else, we grade them on their actions.”

“You have to follow Jesus for yourself, but you are not made to follow Jesus by yourself.”

“If the spur is designed right and the horse has thick skin, then the horse feels pressure but not pain, and the horse runs a better race because of it.”

“Your priorities are not actually your priorities until you prioritize them.”

“When you choose your people and you choose purpose, that's what's going to be at your funeral one day.”

“Relational stinginess draws smaller and smaller circles around yourself, but Jesus drew an even bigger circle to include the world that rejected Him.”

“In God's kingdom, how you get more of a good thing is by giving away the good thing that you have.”

This Week

Ask God to search your heart using the three self-reflection questions: "Do I really want ride or die?", "Are my friends my priority?", and "Am I the kind of friend I'm looking for?"

Grant permission to a few trusted Christian friends to hold you accountable, check your blind spots, and spur you on in your faith walk.

Intentionally prioritize your Christian community over work meetings, social media, or personal convenience this week.

Practice "relational generosity" by proactively sending an encouraging message or blessing a friend without expecting anything in return.

Choose quick forgiveness instead of drawing a smaller, self-protective circle when a friend disappoints or hurts you.

Commit to showing up consistently at church, group, or fellowship meetings, even when you feel tired or busy.

Approach every room and lobby with a "deposit mindset"—asking how you can make others feel seen and encouraged rather than waiting to receive affirmation.

Remember This

Instead of searching for better friends, focus on becoming the encouraging, sacrificial, and accountable friend that God created you to be.

A Challenge for You

Become the kind of friend your future friend would be so lucky to get to have one day. We do that individually. We change the world via friendship corporately.

These are personal sermon notes shared to help you remember the message — not a replacement for Scripture, your church, or your pastors.