Can A Woman Position Herself For Meeting A Man Without Pursuing A Man? | Dr. E. Dewey Smith Jr | Podcast Notes — Hello Pastor

Sermon Notes

Can A Woman Position Herself For Meeting A Man Without Pursuing A Man?

Dr. E. Dewey Smith Jr

The House of Hope Atlanta • Aug 20, 2026 • 15 min

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Take this message with you through a journey of Scripture, reflection, and prayer.

Summary

In this message, Dr. E. Dewey Smith Jr. addresses common dating misconceptions and cultural traditions that believers often confuse with biblical doctrine. Looking at the story of Ruth and Naomi, he illustrates how positioning oneself in visible, productive spaces and receiving counsel from wise mentors opens the door for healthy relationships. Believers are encouraged to drop pride, exercise personal agency, and practice mutual effort rather than remaining passive or confusing simple introductions with desperate pursuit.

Themes

Biblical vs. Cultural ExpectationsPositioning vs. PursuingWisdom and MentorshipReciprocity in RelationshipsSingleness and Preparedness

Key Points

1.
Many dating rules and cultural expectations are mistakenly confused with biblical mandates, so believers must distinguish between cultural traditions and orthodox scripture.
2.
Having experienced, godly mentors to speak wisdom into your personal life helps guide critical dating decisions and avoids foolish mistakes.
3.
There is a vital distinction between aggressively pursuing someone and simply positioning yourself to be accessible and friendly.
4.
Pride and rigid expectations can prevent people from speaking up and taking ownership of their relational goals.
5.
Single believers should evaluate whether they are available, working, and in position to be found, rather than passively waiting for someone to show up.
6.
Simple friendly gestures—like introducing yourself or offering a coffee—are acts of courtesy and positioning, not desperate pursuit or seduction.
7.
Healthy, godly relationships thrive on mutual effort, appreciation, and reciprocity rather than placing all relational and financial burdens on one person.

Sermon Moments

“A lot of times we try to make how we were raised biblical or spiritual, when really at best it's cultural.”

“When you introduce yourself, that's not pursuit or romance—it's an introduction and a simple greeting.”

“Instead of asking if your Boaz is coming, ask: Is Ruth in position to be seen? Is Ruth fit to be found?”

“The word is not pursue, the word is position. Ruth positioned herself to be visible.”

“Closed mouths don't get fed; take your agency and use your voice in everyday life.”

This Week

Distinguish between biblical commands and cultural traditions when evaluating relationship expectations.

Seek counsel and godly wisdom from mature, experienced mentors before making major relational decisions.

Position yourself in healthy, productive environments where potential godly relationships can form.

Practice simple friendliness and warmth by engaging in respectful introductions without fear or pride.

Foster reciprocity and mutual effort in interactions rather than expecting one partner to carry all burdens.

Use your season of singleness constructively to grow, work, and ensure you are fit to be found.

Overcome pride and reservation by using your voice and personal agency in everyday social settings.

Remember This

Positioning yourself to be visible and accessible through humility, wisdom, and simple friendliness is not desperate pursuit, but a healthy way to invite godly connection.

A Challenge for You

If you desire a relationship, evaluate your posture and ask yourself: "Am I positioning myself appropriately, and am I fit to be found?"

These are personal sermon notes shared to help you remember the message — not a replacement for Scripture, your church, or your pastors.